Author: Carol Anne Caiafa
Rating: Hard R/NC-17
Fandom/Claim: Saw/John Kramer AKA Jigsaw. Written for the 10_per_genre challenge community.
Genre: Both slash and het
Table: #9, Hurt/Comfort
Prompt: # 2, Relief
Word Count: 1,027
Warnings: Sex, panty-sniffing and mentions of horror themes and violence, heavily AU
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em, no profit, suing is futile!
A/N: This fic is set in an alternate universe where Zep survives and is working with John and Amanda. Certain parts of this story may therefore not conform to Saw canon. The story may contain spoilers for Saw 1-4. I dedicate this to my darling cassiejo, who got me into the Saw fandom.
Zep couldn’t help smiling as he carried the basket full of dirty laundry to the washing machine. Doing chores like this for John and Amanda reminded him how important he was to them, and that his life now had a purpose. Amanda may have been John’s apprentice, chosen to carry on John’s work of testing the ungrateful people of the world, those unworthy of the very lives they had been blessed with, after John’s death, but Zep’s role was no less vital. He took care of Amanda and John, making sure they were fed and had clean clothes, that they didn’t neglect themselves and got enough rest. And he did it all willingly, thanking his lucky stars that they needed him as much as he needed them.
It was a strange sensation, this knowledge that at last he was loved, that there were people who actually gave a damn about him. For once in his life, he could find solace in the embraces of others, and his gratitude knew no bounds. He had been so very lonely for as long as he could remember, merely tolerated or outright despised by those around him, and being cared for at last was like a relief from torment, like having a massive burden finally removed from his shoulders.
For so long, Zep had felt himself to be an outsider, assuming rejection in all he met and most often finding his fears confirmed. He wilted inside each time he heard something like, “get lost, freak,” uttered by attractive women he approached. The nicer ones would never open their mouths and bluntly tell him so, but he could always tell that they thought he was too odd for them. He could sense it in the way they seemed to look past him when he spoke, avoiding eye contact for too long, and the tone of their voices, either aloof or anxious, signalling their need to get away from him as soon as possible. And he never even dared to make his feelings known to men he found desirable, fearing the violence that such advances might provoke.
With John and Amanda, everything was different. It was as close to perfect as someone like Zep could ever hope for. Of course, John’s cancer meant that what the three of them had could not be permanent, but Zep was determined to appreciate every minute, hour and day of their time together. This was one of the important lessons that John had taught him, after all.
Zep’s lovers were always so tender with his feelings - they never looked down their noses at him or thought of him as pathetic. John never called Zep creepy, and if Amanda did, it was with an affectionate wink and a swat on his ass as she sashayed past, giving him a flirtatious glance over her shoulder.
His heartbeat quickening slightly, Zep pulled a pair of Amanda’s panties out from the tangle of dirty clothing. They were nothing fancy, plain white cotton without even the smallest edge of lace, but they were soft and pretty, and they’d been on her; their thin fabric had pressed tight against the most intimate parts of her. Zep held the panties close against his face, breathing deeply and trying to catch a trace of her body-scent, imagining her taking off her clothes for him, sliding those panties over the curves of her hips and ass and down those slim legs, and casting them nonchalantly on the floor.
Zep’s mouth was watering at the memory of her taste; he longed to be kneeling before her right at that very moment, his tongue lingering on her clit as his fingers pushed deep into her slick cunt. He imagined her gasps, her moans, and could almost feel the heat and wetness of her, relishing the salt-sweet flavor of her, lapping up every bit of her juices that he could reach. Zep trembled, wondering what it would be like to have John watch him with Amanda, whispering encouragement with that captivating voice of his, those blue eyes fixed in a lustful gaze on the sight before him as he waited to participate…
Still clutching Amanda’s underwear, Zep picked up a pair of John’s boxer shorts and sniffed at them avidly. He adored the masculine smell of John, worshipped John’s exquisite pale skin and the lush thickness of white-blond body hair that excited him beyond all reason. Zep pictured himself nuzzling into John’s chest hair, kissing and biting at his lover’s nipples as one hand reached down to grasp John’s erection, fingers curling and caressing all around the hardened shaft. He ached to take John in his mouth; yearned to taste him as much as he wanted to taste Amanda. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for John – he belonged completely to the man who had given him a second chance at life. His devotion was limitless, and his love and submission were profound.
John had not been the first man to fuck Zep’s ass, but he was the first one who cared about Zep’s pleasure, about making Zep feel loved. Zep almost whimpered as he remembered the slow, deep movements of John’s fingers within him, stretching and opening him for John’s cock. Zep had almost wept aloud the first time John entered him; not only was the sensation the most glorious pleasure-pain that he had ever felt, but he was so thankful that a man as beautiful as John could feel desire for him.
Zep slid down against the washing machine to the floor, his lovers’ underthings still clutched tightly in his hands. He felt an overwhelming urge to be kneeling between Amanda’s thighs as she lay on her bed, licking her sweet pussy as John thrust hard into his ass from behind. His fingers tightened on the precious things he held, and he struggled against the temptation to caress himself with them, to make himself come before it was time to bed down with his lovers. Zep wanted to save all his lust and passion for John and Amanda – even the most erotic fantasies could not compare with the reality of their bodies entwined and embracing.